So today my kids came home from vacation with their dad.  This should add an amazing layer to this Cleanse experience.  The last two weeks I’ve been on my own and haven’t had to worry about schlepping kids and feeding meat-eaters.  (DO plan when to start a Cleanse well….time on your own is perfect at the start.)  I was a little worried and really would have liked to just sit down for an hour or so and plan out the week and the menu, but alas, that was not going to happen.

My daughter took me to the movies to see World War Z.  It’s a Zombie movie with Brad Pitt.  Zombies I can resist, but not Mr. Jolie.  The movie was fantastic.  My legs were curled into my chest, I got to clutch my daughter’s hand the entire movie, my breath was shallow, I was riveted, transported, and totally there.  We screamed.  We cried.  I also noticed that my blood pressure was going up, I was getting a quiet headache, and my leg was shaking on it’s own.

Now there is no doubt I’m afraid of monsters, but that’s crazy.  Scanning what was really going on I realized a low grade anxiety that was not about zombies and the end of the world.  I was feeling guilty and worried.  I felt guilty because I have so much work to do (it seems to have doubled now that I’m not working 14 hours a day) and I usually get myself organized on Sunday nights and instead I was at the movies.  I had errands to run, groceries to purchase, and I hadn’t even planned dinner that we would be starving for after the movie.  I was worried I would have to eat crud.  I was worried I would have a bad week if I didn’t sit down and plan.

I couldn’t believe it.  I couldn’t even totally enjoy flesh eating Zombies.

After the movie let out my daughter suggested we go home and watch a nice movie to calm down.  Sigh….  I couldn’t agree more.  I guess the organizing and planning are going to have to wait.  Seriously, why would I work instead of watch a movie with a little girl that is growing up so fast.  Isn’t parenting a #1 Dharma?

Om, Pamela

*The sole purpose of these articles is to provide information about the tradition of ayurveda, yoga, and meditation. This information is not intended for use in the diagnosis, treatment, cure or prevention of any disease. If you have any serious acute or chronic health concern, please consult a trained health professional who can fully assess your needs and address them effectively. Check with your doctor before taking herbs or using essential oils when pregnant or nursing.