I know this is one of those blogs I should write and never ever ever EVER put out there. I guess I’ll know at the end to push “publish” or not. If there is any wonderful spiritual message by time I’m through, I will hit that button, otherwise this is just me being a big F”ing” baby.
I’ve been watching the news too much. I know to stay away, but I’m concerned for the world and I keep checking the news hoping to see a miracle. Alas, I see a lot of common sense met by a lot of bureaucracy. If there is a serum for Ebola and it helped out two Americans, lets just get into mass production already. Plant the tobacco. Russia actually seems like a spot of logical hope. At least they have the guts to say “screw you” and sanction the world back. ISIS? What did the world expect? If you ignore a suffering child, they will eventually have a temper tantrum. Children killing children, governments torturing citizens, and our privacy rights slowly stripped away.
I digress…the blues…sometimes you get them.
I’ve had to sub a lot lately. July/August is the time yoga teachers seem to travel. It’s been hard. Students want and expect a certain teacher, a certain style, a certain playlist and they end up with a sub. I’ve had folks do everything from roll their eyes in disappointment to flat out telling me they expected a different person and “when will she be back?” One person asked me if I was qualified to teach the class. My stupid ego says, “I own the frickin’ studios, duh, of course I can.” My inner child says, “Can you? Maybe you suck.”
It hurts, but I understand as well. No one likes change. I decided (after many moons) to let this go, but I was in the studio working and listening to another teacher who was subbing go through the same process. The look of hurt in her eyes and then seeing her energy shift to doubt…Well, it’s too much. I question the eight years spent building these studios where I work very hard 7 days a week. Have I failed so miserably that students can be so unkind to the teaching staff? AHIMSA…practice peace. Oh my dreaded mind…please be peace.
Another thing with subbing is people who do know I actually own the studios and don’t get to see me much because the prefer the other teacher take the opportunity to let me know everything wrong with the studio. Yes, I’m aware the roof is leaking in Montgomery, the ceiling tiles are falling down, and there is a less than pleasant odor developing. It’s getting fixed. Yes, I’m aware it is August and hot in the 200-year old Lebanon studio. Yes, I’m aware you bought a Groupon and it is expired because you didn’t come in and no I cannot honor it. Yes, this is a spiritual studio intended to help all and that appears greedy not to honor your groupon and yes, this is a business because the landlord expects his rent every month so he can fix the roof.
Ranting…
I pull a card from the OSHO Zen Tarot deck. I use that one when I need my ass kicked. I pull “letting go?” WTH? Letting go of what? The blues? The studios? What does it mean? What am I letting go of????
Master Osho…so smart. Let go of the fight. This is the return of innocence. I am above no one, I am below no one. I am just a drop of water dripping back into the whole of the pond. I am member of a larger community called Elemental OM. It has nothing to do with me. I don’t like it when there is a sub either. I wish we could all be present for every class. I’m mad about the roof too. I’m tired of fighting that 200 year old building as well.
Hello spoiled inner child. Are you done with your temper tantrum?
Osho’s an idiot. I think his Ashram was overrun by the federal government at some point because they were stockpiling weapons.
Let’s try the Divine Guidance deck…number 23. Intimacy. Great. Apparently I just need laid.
Laughing…
Did I mention the new natural lubricants we are carrying in the studio? They are awesome. There’s even one that gets you in the mood when you are not. I wonder if I can just rub it on my heart?
Thank you and forgive me. Om, Pamela
Here is the link if you wanna buy those brutal cards:
*The sole purpose of these articles is to provide information about the tradition of ayurveda, yoga, and meditation. This information is not intended for use in the diagnosis, treatment, cure or prevention of any disease. If you have any serious acute or chronic health concern, please consult a trained health professional who can fully assess your needs and address them effectively. Check with your doctor before taking herbs or using essential oils when pregnant or nursing.