My son is an avid snowboarder. He’s been on a board since he was seven. I clearly remember his first time out. I strapped the board to him, stood him up, straightened his gear, let go, and boy he went. He’s loved it ever since and goes weekly to Perfect North with his friends. He’s been lucky until this Wednesday when he took a bad fall, fractured his spine, and tore his esophagus. Needless to say, I write this from his hospital room in the trauma unit where we await discharge. He’s going to be just fine.
This experience has felt like total chaos. Everything from the sterilized rooms, the smell, the beeping, the blinking, and the constant interruptions has challenged my holistic approach to health care. Elliott has compliantly endured and I have agreeably volunteered to sit through seven x-rays in all. He’s swallowed chemicals, received drugs, and been kept up all night.
I have been quiet and observant allowing everyone to do their jobs. I have held space for my son. I have been very present moment to moment pushing away fear of surgery for my little boy. I tried praying, calling in angels, and sensing the mystical helpers that usually abound. Not sensing a thing, I asked God to just give me a sign and explained it needed to be pretty hard core and tangible.
Rounding the corner of ANorth tower, I run into Cherrell Parris, a yogini in Lebanon,who just happens to work as a nurse on the trauma floor. Her smiling face and big hug the message I needed to know it will all be okay. We chat and laugh and it allows me to see the humanity of this hospital engine. I’m sure there are more yogis among them.
Today I feel raw and realize that “holding space” simply meant setting my feelings aside and not dealing with the moments so as not to lose it. Is that yoga or is that denial? Looking at my son happily sitting in his back brace texting his girlfriend, I understand that everything is going to be just fine and I am overcome with emotion. Not wanting my son to see me upset, I hold the tears back. Is this yoga?
OM, Pamela
Elliott’s Snowboard Accident video
*The sole purpose of these articles is to provide information about the tradition of ayurveda, yoga, and meditation. This information is not intended for use in the diagnosis, treatment, cure or prevention of any disease. If you have any serious acute or chronic health concern, please consult a trained health professional who can fully assess your needs and address them effectively. Check with your doctor before taking herbs or using essential oils when pregnant or nursing.