Recently I was given the opportunity to work with a coach.  I’m a coach, I love to learn from others, I find I hold myself accountable to another better than to myself, and it isn’t like I don’t have my stuff to work on.  So, I happily volunteered to be coached.

All the questionnaires started coming in and so I began…

What prompted you to hire a coach? 

  • see above

Do you have any distractions to resolve to get the most from a coach?

  • 16 year old driving and dating
  • 13 year old who acts like an 18 year old
  • a boyfriend
  • 1 very bad dog
  • 2 kitties
  • 1 house needing a new roof and a cleaning lady
  • 1 yard that will never win an award
  • 2 studios
  • 24 teachers
  • 300 students
  • a mailing list of 3,000 humans
  • writing a book, managing a website, accounting, long term planning, traveling, speaking, teaching, teacher training, managing a store………blah blah blah
  • delusions of grandeur…the biggest obstacle

What 3 things would you most like me to know about you?

  • I’m a control freak.
  • I’m a perfectionist.
  • I always do what I want no matter what anyone advises me.

What 3 things do you most want to change in your life in the next 3 months?

uhhhhhhh…..heart rate rises….cold sweat….panic…anxiety.  I put the pen down and run away for a few days.  This I really need to think, meditate, and pray about.  I have no idea.  Not only do I not have a clue, but this questions deeply triggers me.  I cancel my session.  Days go by…and then weeks.

My ah-ha comes as I’m soaking in a bath of salt and suds.  It’s a weekly treat of mine.  I take a few hours in an afternoon and literally just play in the bathtub and read Yogananda.  I’ve done this forever.  It’s something I don’t put on a calendar or anything, it just happens at some point during the week when I’m the only one home and the world is out there being busy.  I count on this constant in some form.  I want that bath to be there for me forever and I expect when I’m 92 I will still be enjoying my soaks and Yogananda.

It’s a constant.

And there it is…I don’t want change.   I want everything to stabilize.  I want some level of routine and consistency.  I’m tired of change and am willing to work towards constancy only.  I’ve never had that in my life.  It’s always been one thing and then the next.  From what I see, we are all living this way.  It’s in our culture.  If you aren’t changing, achieving, or winning, there is something wrong with you.  Change yourself.  Get thin.  Get tall. Get rich.  Get happy.

In yoga we have a term for this and it’s call BullS@#t.  I also call it “outsourcing.”  Seeking outside of yourself for happiness.  It has to come in the form of change because change is the only constant in the game of outsourcing.  Feel unhappy.  Set a goal.  Achieve.  Feel good.  Feel unhappy again.  Then set another goal. Then Achieve and so on and so on.

This cycle only ends when you become absorbed in the “S”elf.  When you are able to drop into the deep center of your heart, your core, and connect into the God that lives there.  In that space, you realize that nothing needs to change.  You do realize that everything is just how it should be.  You are able to hold space for others and self.  It’s a very powerful place to be.  Getting there looks like doing your work…meditating, praying, helping & serving, and asking the larger questions of life like “why am I here?” and “what is my life’s purpose?”

Sometimes in meditation I just imagine myself sitting there.  There is a tornado around me and it if full of all of my “obstacles” from above.  They just swirl around me as I sit there holding space for them and watching the drama of life unfold.  In those moments, I feel my consistency.  That’s the only thing I really desire and there really isn’t anything outside of myself worth changing.

 

*The sole purpose of these articles is to provide information about the tradition of ayurveda, yoga, and meditation. This information is not intended for use in the diagnosis, treatment, cure or prevention of any disease. If you have any serious acute or chronic health concern, please consult a trained health professional who can fully assess your needs and address them effectively. Check with your doctor before taking herbs or using essential oils when pregnant or nursing.