I had a great moment the other day.

Let me begin at the very beginning:   I’m a coach.  It’s what I do.  It’s who I am.  It’s hard to set aside.  I don’t even know I’m doing it. I love doing it. I also cannot stand to see others suffering and I want to help them fix everything.  If you are my friend, I’m sure I drive you crazy.

So,

I have a dear friend (and yes this is about you) who is going through some stuff physically, emotionally, and spiritually. She reached out to me as a friend for a little TLC.  We both coach each other in moments of need. I gave her some really good Ayurvedic advice about her situation and her diet.  I’m talking sound advice I have given, seen implemented, and know with 100% certainty it will work for her and she will lose weight, reduce inflammation, release her sticky memories of the past, and get happy.

A few days later I saw her.  She was just talking and venting and she said, “I’m so sick of everyone telling me what to do about food, relationship, money and more.”  I think she added some cuss words and I’m sure I heard “screw everyone.”  (which meant screw me too)

My consciousness in that moment exploded and expanded in the most amazing way.  It was a huge “ah-ha” wake up for me.  You see…I love advice.  Now most folks don’t give me any (not sure why except for my driving nature that runs most humans over…I’m working on it…sorry) but I love it.  I AM the person who will try anything you recommend.   If you tell me how much fun pole-dancing is, I’ll be registered in the next class (still got the stripper shoes to prove it).  If you recommend a crazy new technique to connect to spirit…I’m there.  If you come back from an amazing workshop and tell me I simply must study with someone…I’ll go with you next time.  If you know where the bargains are, please tell me.

The only thing I won’t try is anything that is a nutritional fad.  I know Ayurveda works and I don’t detour.  Otherwise, bring it!

So,

Back to my ah-ha!  What I realized is  she just had too many different people giving her too many different bits of advice.  This causes confusion, anger, and frustration.  It makes a person feel overwhelmed and helpless.

So, I asked her what her personal ideal food plan looked like not taking into consideration anyone else.  I asked her to drop into her body and find out what it needed.  After about five minutes she had a pretty reasonable plan she was happy with.  It wasn’t half bad and the best part is she felt like she could do it.

She felt empowered.  She made the choices.  It’s all hers.  She will and is sticking with it.  Now the fun part for me is she is already feeling better and is starting to add in some of the other stuff  I recommended.

So, maybe this is Human Nature 101, but allowing a person to make their own choices is more effective than telling them what to do.  Coaching 101 is don’t “tell” anyone.  Let them come up with their own solutions.  Think of a situation in your life you need to shift.  What advice would you give yourself?

*The sole purpose of these articles is to provide information about the tradition of ayurveda, yoga, and meditation. This information is not intended for use in the diagnosis, treatment, cure or prevention of any disease. If you have any serious acute or chronic health concern, please consult a trained health professional who can fully assess your needs and address them effectively. Check with your doctor before taking herbs or using essential oils when pregnant or nursing.