I Left Class This Morning

TODAY THE 22ND: I left class this morning. (Internet has been wiggy so sorry for my consolidated posting.)

I got up and got there at 6:30 in the freezing cold with my tight body from sitting on my ass 6 – 8 hours a day just craving yoga and one of the teachers husbands shows up to teach us African self defense.

So we are listening to crazy drumming music and flinging our bodies around in the most uncontrolled manner and are forced to spar with each other.  Not very trauma sensitive and once again expecting one thing and getting another with absolutely no warning.

We are allowed to miss 3 hours so this counts for 45 minutes for me.  Of course I do the math and now we are down to just 18 classes in 30 days led by our lead teachers.  There are three of them so you think they could teach us yoga every day and I’d imagine twice a day.  I can’t imagine I’m going to learn the cues in 18 classes.

Suffering is expecting one thing and getting another.

Expectations.  I think you should expect a lot from a yoga teacher training.  A good training will take you on an emotional journey, help you clean up your life, and teach you how to either teach yoga (200ryt) or teach you to teach yoga better with a deep dive into philosophy (300rty).  I am learning a lot about how I will organize my 300 ryt.  I don’t think I will take yogis away for an intensive ever.  I imagine a 300 ryt will take about two years.

So instead of yoga this morning I read about Dharma which I’ll include that write up below for all you yoga geeks!  Of course it caused a behind the scenes ruckus that I left and while it was very kind of one of the teachers to want to talk it out with me, I said no.  Some shit you gotta work out on your own. 

Tonight was a Shamanic Journey ? to the second realm of the Mayan realms which I know we are in, but it is unclear what this realm is about.  The teacher played the drum and guided us through a dark forest where we met a gatekeeper who was to let us into wherever this Puma was.  My gatekeeper said no.  He wouldn’t let me in. But that Puma ? did show up at the door and just sat there. So when we were to ask the Puma the most profound question, “Who Am I?”, my Puma said “You are not of this world.” Then that Puma turned around and left. Tomorrow we share our journeys and I gotta make something else up because I’m sure everyone else was let in and I’ll be the looser yogi.  ?

Weird stuff….Just take this or leave this. If you know me you know I have a few unique skills.  The first time the Shamans came to visit us I felt a very odd presence and it almost felt as if it was trying to fill me up and I very loudly in my head told it that it did not have permission.  Immediately I felt the presence leave and I got a massive headache.  It was weird.  Tonight one of the Shamans came to teach us about Chakras and I sensed the same thing.  So I called in all my protection and when we meditated as a group I did my Primordial Sound meditation instead.  Well, I noticed one other woman not doing the guided meditation after class so after class I asked what was up.  She simply said that she sensed things and knew what was not right for her.  Oddly, this is the same woman who also skipped the Mesculine cactus juice trip.  I have to wonder if that Puma is mad at me.

FRIDAY THE 23RD:  This morning Jesse led the class.  Each of the three teachers brings something very unique to the teachings and I probably resonate with Jesse the best.  When she is teaching anatomy, philosophy, or a a yoga class she just lights up.  Today’s class was exceptionally good.

You won’t even believe it, but I got into crow pose and I was able to jump my feet between my hands from down dog and a few other things.  I cried in Shavasana after.  With my wrist, I don’t think I’ve been able to do it for many years. I just really internalized their deep cues and it took the fear away.  My right side is getting much stronger.  My shoulder still hurts, but I was able to trust the rest of my body.

Today we have a 1/2 day off.  I sent my laundry out and it just won’t come back.  I need to buy a sweatshirt or something.  It’s freezing in the morning and I only have two yoga tops and two yoga pants I’ve been hand washing.  There is a little resale shop in town of mostly hippie clothing so wish me luck.  If any crazy yogi wants to run off to Guatemala and start a business you could open a shop selling tshirts and sweatshirts with landscapes of the volcanos and the word GUATAMALA in the flag’s colors.  I mentioned this to all my new young Uber cool hippie friends and they thought that was pretty lame.  The youth today fail to see creative genius.

Yesterday was the nervous system which I love, the 2nd day of the Bhagavad Gita which I also love,  and lord I can’t remember what else.  I think I was low yesterday missing home and still annoyed about that lady’s stupid email (see below).  I hesitate to post yesterdays writing, but I’m just going to keep it real.  This is a glimpse into my journal so you are getting the good, the bad, and the ugly.

From the study of the Bhagavad Gita….

BE HUMBLY WHO YOU ARE ~ Thoreau

Oh and I almost forgot.  Last night in the middle of the night I heard the most strange noises so I got up to look and saw two animals that looked like long and skinny raccoons with super long tails.  I think they were Lemurs or Muir Cats ( I might be making that up).  OMazing.

THRUSDAY THE22ND: We are silent every day until 10 am.  That means breakfast is in silence.  I like it.  As we have entered the second realm of Puma of the Mayan realms things have become quite mundane.  No weird ceremonies to look forward to or to gossip about so I’m finding lunch and dinner is spent with most people on their phones making plans for when the training is done.  Many are spending 1 to 12 more months simply traveling South America.

I’m looking forward to getting home and seeing Lance and Marley.  My son, Elliott, graduates from Ohio State University with a degree in Electrical Engineering.  I’m hoping to celebrate with him right when I get back.  In future travels, I will plan for Lance to meet me at the end and spend more time.  

Eating in silence makes you hyper aware of the habits and manners of others.  I can’t say too much about manners because I’m still using the cat as a napkin bribing him with food to stay by me.  BUT in Ayurveda we pay attention to our food, take small bites, chew with our mouth closed, and don’t talk with our mouth full.  This is for good digestion.  The suggestion is to chew 25 times before you swallow as well.  I’ll just leave it there, but do know if you are a yogi you are to abide by an Ayurvedic lifestyle.

Physically, I am getting stronger and the anatomy lessons and very detailed cueing are helping my shoulder a bit.  I’m still in pain and limited in my poses, but I noticed this morning the pain is starting to travel throughout my body and that seems like progress.  Sadly, given our days off and practice teaching schedule we only get about 19 practices with the 3 lead teachers.  I don’t think that is enough for me to get a handle on this shoulder and honestly it is not enough to be able to mimic their cueing and incorporate into my practice.  I was hoping for at least 50 yoga classes when I signed up assuming 2 each day.

I do love the cues and the practice is quite creative.  When I get home I’m going to take an anatomy course online and then this winter I may find a famous yogi therapist to take a week with.

In philosophy we have moved from the Sutras to the Bhagavad Gita.  We were supposed to read the most excellent book by Stephen Cope, Great Works of Your Life, before we came, but most did not so it’s kinda a question and answer session.  The hard questions are missing.  Do READ THE BOOK!  It’s so good.

DHARMA:

I do feel I’m in a personal dharma shift with the studios and I am making a strategy to change what I personally do.  I’m thrilled to partner with Alex Brooks in Mt. Lookout.  You will love her.  I was hoping to come back refreshed and ready to get back to studio business, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Last night I got an email from a woman cancelling her membership.  This is not abnormal and isn’t a big deal. BUT she was super passive aggressive about the Symmes studio closing.  She wrote that she was cancelling her membership and happy to go to Honor Yoga (the greedy corporate chain that moved in less than 1 mile from Symmes) and pay much more to have access to some of her favorite teachers from EOM that were not accommodated on the Mason and Montgomery Studio.  My head…exploded.  I swear I thought, “You passive aggressive fucking bitch. I asked all of you to increase your membership fees and barely anyone did.  You are a fucking asshole bitch.”  I think there were some thoughts about stabbing her eyes out too.  And then I find out that DIShonor yoga is starting to steal my teachers away with probably high pay I can’t afford.  So as you see teachers quit please don’t take it out on me.  Apparently if you teach there you cannot teach anywhere else so the yoga scene in Cincinnati is getting ready to really change and if you are a yoga teacher, expect fewer and fewer opportunities at yoga studios.  

Obviously I’m not ready to come back to Elemental OM.  

Things I know…

• I want to multipurpose Mason for micro weddings
• I want to turn Mason yard into a butterfly garden
• I want someone I know and love to rent the building I’m rehabbing in Montgomery so we can play off each other.
• I want to teach not more than 4 classes/week.
• I want to lead a 200 & 300 ryt of significance.
• I’d like to do much more online.
• I’d like to transition the studios to community or partner ownership and take the responsibility of decision making off of just me

Dharma for Yoga Geeks

Why does everyone not realize their Dharma?  Dharma is your vocation, life’s purpose, reason for getting up in the morning.  Your dharma is hidden in your natural abilities and talents to be performed in service to others and without attachment to outcome or the rewards of your service.

To me, dharma seems like a luxury.  I’m thinking of all the folks in the world who simply lack basic human rights, dignity, and opportunity.  In once sense, you might think I am right, but I am not.

Dharma is not realized by most because most get stuck in Kama or desire and Artha or accumulation.  I used to think the desire led to the accumulation which led to the ease of realizing dharma, but they actually act in opposition to Dharma.  Your desires become fulfilled and you accumulate wealth and ease and then you get lazy.  Dharma is hard work. Most are not willing to do the hard work.

Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita to:

• Work for the sake of work.
• Worship for the sake of worship.
• Do good because it is good to do good.

Now back to the poor folks who don’t seem to have a chance at filling their dharma because they are stuck in a poverty cycle.  It doesn’t matter.  The biggest secret of the entire universe is we will all achieve Moksha or liberation regardless of if we fulfill dharma.

So you can skip everything and still be liberated which is the number one reason we incarnate.