I ran into a woman I know from my children’s school system at Krogers today. Her son is graduating this weekend and I congratulated her on his success. I asked if it was her first. She said yes. I asked if she had more. She said she had one more, a sophomore. Our eyes met and I felt deep in my heart her piercing pain and tears came to my eyes. She looked every which way to avoid her own tears. We spoke of party preparations and visiting relatives and how men really just don’t get it. Of course they don’t. They are Saturn (work, authority, discipline) and we are Venus (love, mother, creation).
My son, now 20, graduated two years ago. Mixed in with excitement, hope, and admiration for him was the dull ache of grief. Grief of not just losing my son to the world, but grief for how my life and my life’s purpose was and would change. Getting up and making breakfast, packing lunches, shlepping to activities and games, wondering where he was at all hours, and so enjoying watching him become the man he was becoming.
Once you have those little ones, your dharma or life’s purpose is to raise them. And then what? Someone once explained to me that mothering is the art of letting go. You let them go from your womb, from your breast, from your hands, and finally from your home. I’ve been assured they come back somewhere mid twenties. Still, honor your grief. Sit with it and know there is a huge sisterhood for you to turn to when you ache.
I leave you with the Mother’s Prayer. You don’t have to chant it. Just listen to it when you are aching for your child or worried. It will heal you and protect them.
*The sole purpose of these articles is to provide information about the tradition of ayurveda, yoga, and meditation. This information is not intended for use in the diagnosis, treatment, cure or prevention of any disease. If you have any serious acute or chronic health concern, please consult a trained health professional who can fully assess your needs and address them effectively. Check with your doctor before taking herbs or using essential oils when pregnant or nursing.