Yogis,

If you have come into the studio lately, you’ve probably seen me with dark circles under my eyes and a a crease in my brown.  I know it’s normal and human to exhibit signs of stress under extreme stress, but this has shamed me greatly.  You see, my yoga skills on some levels have failed me.  It’s been humbling and educational.  And yes I am still a superwoman hero.  And yes, my invisible plane is capable of getting shot from the sky. And yes there is a parachute in the invisible plane.

Backdrop:  I applied for a small business loan from the SBA to purchase the Montgomery studio in JULY of 2014!!!  I closed today on January 30th, 2015.  The process was intense.  I learned a lot about myself and my business.  Mostly I learned that I like to be in charge of my destiny and sometimes (all the time)  have to surrender.  Maybe “control” is our biggest suffering…

It’s odd.  Weird non-yogi folks were working to our  benefit.  They don’t care about yoga.  They did care about us.  The government (and you know I always say that with with a smirk) was also working for us.  Maybe the real word does love yogis. I have to wonder….

I digress.

Why do you care?  Well, I learned something.  It was profound.  There was a moment (fine there were 3 solid days this week and countless others since July of 2014)  when I couldn’t breathe.  I’ve always freely shared I suffer from anxiety not to mention a need to be perfect, co-dependany, and workaholism…  I couldn’t breathe.  It went on for days and days and days and intermittently since July 0f 2014.   You see, if this didn’t happen, EOM didn’t happen and that made the last 9 years of my life…well, failure or success, not what I expected.  I did everything. Long deep breath settling only in the top of my lungs.  Long hot baths and still no breath.  Long intense meditations with the mind chattering away.  Intense work and focus truly my only escape and I know that sounds wrong, but that was my only right…going to my drug…work. (and if I said heroine, you’d be aghast, but I said “work” and so it appears okay to the same ultimate detriment.)

What I learned that you can actually apply:

At the deepest spot of my angst, I simply couldn’t breathe.  A good friend of mine is having a similar life experience.  They reached out to me (FRIENDS ASK FOR HELP) and we made a pact to breathe for each other.  I couldn’t breathe for me, but I can always help.  I can always serve.  I can always breathe for another.  Every breath in healed and helped my friend.  Every breath out from my friend healed and helped me.  So, while I couldn’t help myself through this, I could still help another through theirs and in turn it helped me.  I’m breathing in for my friend, I’m breathing out for my friend.

 

I breathe in for ___________.  I breath out for________________.

*The sole purpose of these articles is to provide information about the tradition of ayurveda, yoga, and meditation. This information is not intended for use in the diagnosis, treatment, cure or prevention of any disease. If you have any serious acute or chronic health concern, please consult a trained health professional who can fully assess your needs and address them effectively. Check with your doctor before taking herbs or using essential oils when pregnant or nursing.